I arrived at work today with a bright smile and grand plans for getting things done. I realized I was going to revise my dreams of a productive day when I viewed the massacre that once was my section of books. It looked at if someone had sneezed novels everywhere. I quickly set myself to fixing up the books I was bound by my honor (and my boss’s command) to keep neat and tidy. As I reached the shelf housing books written by individuals whose last names begin with an “L,” a young girl and her brother walked down the aisle.
She searched for a while, then gasped loudly and pointed at the shelf. She took two steps back, grasped the sides of her head with her hands and yelled, “OH MY GOD THEY HAVE JUDY BLUME HERE!”
For the next several minutes she explained to her brother how amazing this woman was and how her stories were the light in her life. She confessed her undying affection for this author, then wished that she never stopped writing. It was a wonderful and perfect moment of my day.
I want fans like that.
All my life I have wanted one thing: a dog. My family home remains an anti-animal establishment. The only dog I’ll be looking at anytime soon is the picture I have taped to my wall. However, last night my father came home with a huge tank and some fish. A friend gave it to us because he could no longer care for them. We set up the tank (which was quite an effort) and added the fish. Even though I joked around all day how lame and boring fish are when compared with the fluffy, cuddly goodness of a puppy, it made me so happy to see the little fish swim around and play by the huge rock mountain I constructed.
This morning I woke up and sped to the fish store. And by sped, I mean stayed about three miles above the speed limit. I was serviced by a very good looking young man who helped me choose the perfect Pleco. I went in the store with only one thing on my mind: I wanted one of those sucker fish that stick to the side of the tank and eat all the algae. Sadly, I explained it to him exactly like that. My brother picked the other seven fish.
The fish are happily swimming/sucking the algae of the side of the tank, and every time I walk by the tank I find I have to stand there and watch them. It is very relaxing. Three staring sessions ago I decided to just keep a chair in front of the tank so that when I feel the need to watch fish swim around, I can do at eye level.
And so, I have learned three very important lessons from this experience:
1. Fish are cool.
2. Pleco’s (especially the one I decided to buy and name Chupa Cara) are massively expensive because of the level of awesome their bodies can hold.
3. Regardless of what kind of animal you keep, there is nothing that can change the feeling of pure happiness you experience when they get excited about something you’ve done. That’s right, I claim fish are excited when I dump some food in there.
I know, I know. You’re missing weeks one through six of my journey. I will fill you in:
Seven weeks from today I began my quest to lose 120 pounds. As of this week, I have lost 11.4 pounds. I decided to calculate my success in the form of babies. I estimate the average baby to weight about seven pounds. And so, I am very excited to have lost about one and a half babies.
This week I plan on walking more and hopefully bringing my total to two babies next week!
After spending most of the day tinkering with the template and the sidebar, I have decided it is about time I write the first post. Are all first posts awkward?
I feel like you and I are on a first date. I really want to impress you. I want you to like me. At the end of this post, I want you to want to see me again, read me again. Do you like my layout? I just got it today. Over the next few days I will be fixing things and adding to this website in hopes that you, my reader, will enjoy your time here.
Did I mention you have beautiful eyes?
I’ll keep this post short. Before I go, I will promise two things:
I promise to write honestly and tastefully.
I promise to post at least once a week.
Until next time!