Dear Massively Beautiful Girl Sitting Across From Me On The Subway,

Now I know what all those guys mean in those corny love songs. I want to look at you and figure out why you’re so beautiful. Not in a creepy way, but more in a mathematical, scientific way. This makes me feel awkward and weird. Also, I’ve love to discuss your hat with you. Stay awesome.

Love,

The uncomfortable chick trying not to stare.