15 Things I Noticed in Ohio

1. Everyone goes the speed limit every time.

2. Everyone is massively polite and kind.  Except that one kid in Old Roscoe.

3. There’s never traffic.

4. When they say “city” they really mean suburb.

5. Everything is green.

6. Nothing is open late unless it’s a bar.

7. Cleveland is dead.

8. There’s so much corn.

9. No gift shop sells magnets.

10. There are no cops.

11. All town names are either borrowed or a little racist.

12. It smells good.

13. Their homeless people insult you until you give them money.

14. Everything is less expensive and a little cooler.

15. I kind of want to move here.

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