Dear Woman Who Hit My Car While I Was In It,
May squirrels poop on your car for a year. You and I made eye contact before you hit my car! What were you thinking? You had plenty of room to leave your parking spot, yet you still felt the need to back up into the front of my car. Please take your road test again–and while you’re at it, take physics again! As much as it might displease you, two objects can’t occupy the same spot. Stop trying! Also, I don’t think I have ever seen someone speed away from the “scene of a crime” so quickly. You’re crazy.
Love,
The chick glaring in the black corolla
Did you get her license plate number? What was the damage to your car?