15 Things I’d Rather Be Doing Than Dealing With Bed Bugs

1. Homework.

2. My taxes.

3. Going on vacation with someone who hates me.

4. Moving into a new apartment.

5. Running 26.1 miles, uphill, both ways, in the snow.

6. Having my blood drawn.

7. Finding out I have a tapeworm.

8. Experiencing explosive and unpredictable diarrhea.

9. Vomiting.

10. Getting one million papercuts over the course of a week.

11. Relive my last relationship.

12. Watch every episode of 19 and Counting.

13. Go through high school again.

14. Gain 50 pounds, but only in my left leg.

15. Lose my hearing for a month.

15 Things About Bed Bugs That Suck So Hard

1. They are gross.

2. Apparently they get into EVERYTHING.

3. You spend a crapton of money dealing with them.

4. Exterminators are all jerks and talk down to you.  Yes, sir.  I did this on purpose so I could get more attention than I normally do.

5. You feel things crawling on you all the time.

6. Everyone sits a little farther away when they hear the news.

7. You feel guilty having anyone come even remotely close to your stuff.

8. You feel like you can’t ask for the help you need.

9. You feel dirty.

10. Sleeping through the night is really hard.

11. Laundry becomes a favorite escape.

12. Any movement out of the corner of your eye or strange bug bite gets analyzed for hours.

13. Everyone somehow knows exactly what to do and no one is right.

14. You find out who your real friends are.

15. Your landlord hates you.

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